The Power of the Hand
The Ring Finger Anchor: Is There Something Better?
Thinking about viewing porn, look at your ring finger. Ask yourself, “Is there something better?”
Think about it. Pornography meets a need in your life. Though it may be a poor substitute, it still fills physical and emotional needs.
Your intention is to live a happy and rewarding life, isn’t it?
When a strong craving moves through you to view porn, take notice to your feelings. Where are they generated from? Are they originating from your chest, gut or pelvic region?
Chest: feelings affirm your need for affection. Take just a moment and think how porn has caused you pain; and then ask, “Is there something better?” Do you hear the “YES” ringing in your thoughts? Now think of affectionately showing your significant other tender love; first in your thoughts and then in person. Now, notice how feelings for porn leave you. But first, you must shift your focus to loving someone better.
Gut: warning signals come from this region of your body. Porn pilfers your thoughts; simultaneously, you feel a gnawing feeling in your gut. The feeling may be telling you to check your focus; things you’re thinking about or looking at. Pay attention to your gut. These feelings warn of danger. Take just a moment; think about porn and ask, “Is there something better?” “Yes!” Then audibly ask , saying, “What?” Wait. The answer will come. Act only on things which empower you, the good things.
Pelvic region: arousal, low grade sexual feelings in genitals or sensations in the testicle area (hair prickling, warmth or an awareness) are all natural, warning or affirming sensations.
Warning, a sexual sensation may be alerting you that your thoughts are on something sexual; porn sites you once visited, favorite porn stars or some old fantasy. Or, your eyes are locked onto a sexual stimulus: busty women on billboards, scantily clad woman or someone’s body part. If this happens, it’s okay. You have 1-3 seconds to respond. Simply shift your focus and change your belief about what just happen. Old belief: Something is wrong with Me. New belief: these feelings are good; they just warned me to change my focus. Key: have prearranged thoughts to think about when sexual feelings come. Example: you are tenderly loving your significant other with gentle kiss, an affectionate hug or holding her in bed after you’ve made love. Secret: immediately shift focus to something that empowers you, leaving you feeling good.
If your thoughts wonder down the Porn path, you still have time to shift focus. Don’t feel guilt; just think about something else, preferably the person you love. If the porn urge is strong, simply ask, “Is There Something Better?” I hear a “Yes!” Clear your mind. And then, ask this question, “What?” Wait for the answer; it will come. Focus on the better alternative.
Affirming: Lovingly thinking about the person you love can cause same sexual feelings in the pelvic region. However, you feel complete, you experience a sense of oneness and you feel whole. Sexual feelings associated with these feelings are good, very good. They empower you. Caution: What you focus on, you attract. Don’t focus on your significant other’s body parts or you will see butts, breasts, legs; where ever you look.
The key here is this: Be willing to change your intentions to something better at a moment’s notice. The notice is a feeling, warning you to change focus.
One final thought here: Your goal is to empower yourself with good feelings. Empowering emotions give you energy. You feel alive. Negative emotions such as lust, hate, frustration, stress, depression (many, many more) all deplete your energy. You feel like your dying on the inside.
In short: Know exactly how you want to feel with the end in mind. That way you can tell when something is better or not. Then, it becomes easy. You always want to feel good in the end.
To Your Peace, Power and Plenty,