“Pornography & Masturbation caused emotional chaos, frustration and stress: an emotional hell for me”–Dale.
For Some, Compulsive Masturbation eventually leads to anger, turning into uncontrollable rage, if not stopped, violence.
Well, for me, it did.
Not sure of the exact date, sometime between 1974 and 1979, I was going through a rough time in my life.
Linda and I married in 1974. My job became stressful. I seemed to never have enough money.
Linda questioned giving so much money to a church where we were members. I began to question why as well.
Working gruelling long hours for a paycheck that didn’t pay the bills. I’d go to bed stressed and depressed. I wake up in the morning frustrated. Masturbation seemed to relieve the overwhelming feelings I experienced at the moment.
Problem, I began to flirt on the job with employees. Masturbation put my eyes on autopilot. Everywhere I looked, I saw short shorts, mini skirts and bosoms.
Self-loathing and frustration turned to anger. I was angry with myself with not living right, a church goer, you know.
One day, Linda and I argued about money. I lost control and slung her across the kitchen. I looked in horror at what I just did. My soul mate, the woman I loved, I just hurt.
She slammed into the corner of one of the cabinets, hurting her leg. She swore to me that if I ever did that again it would be the last time.
I never did it again.
I asked God, “What’s wrong with me.”
One word hit my brain. Masturbation. It had gone to the compulsive stage. If I even felt badly or a sexual thought came to me I masturbated.
From that point on, I did everything I could to control it. Masturbation went from 2 to 3 times per day to maybe one time every 6 weeks.
Are you in the compulsive masturbation stage?
Read the other posts on subject to break compulsiveness.
To your peace,
Dale
How to Stop Pornography Addiction 
Hi Dale, I’ve read a lot of your material. What I can say with certainty is that masterbation is for the most part a waste of time. I believe it sets us up for failure. It embeds unrealistic expectations that get programmed into the subconscious. But I am saying this from the vantage point of a happily married man with a healthy sex life.
Bottom line, I am not for it. But I can only speak for myself.
Ciao.
chaz
Thank you, Chaz.
I enjoyed your comments.
You can tell the understanding of a writer with how few words he uses to get his point across.
Well said! I liked how you used “programmed” to explain the outcome.
Your one word explains it best.
You triggered a thought: Masturbation conditions mind and body to become egocentric with sexual thoughts predominate.
Chaz,thanks again.
Dale
No problem Dale. Thanks for addressing a topic which is so often avoided, minimized and misunderstood.
I was conditioned to believe that masterbating was all terrible and wrong. Then arrives the current eara where porn is available everywhere and to take a stand on something like masterbating or sexual morality is often considered a fringe issue of right wing or religious extremists.
From a practical standpoint of someone who has lived through 40+ years of life, as I am sure you have too, I have observed and experienced that it adds nothing to a loving monogomous relationship. It in fact, breaks the focus on building desire and attraction for one’s spouse.
I do not believe or agree that everyone should just go out and whack themselves silly. Nor do I believe masterbation will end anytime soon. I am simply stating that focusing all of our attention and efforts on our spouse, including sexual desires on the mind level, can greatly enhance our connection with our spouses.
And training our expectations to repeatedly focus and fantasize about others is damaging and harmful to us and them. It is not what I want. I want super-attraction to my spouse. I want super-connection and super-function and super-sex.
I don’t see how habitually training our imaginations to fantasize about the unrealistic helps any of the above.
The good part is that I have discovered the opposite to be true. That we can train ourselves to continually find our spouses exciting and attractive. And then have the sex life that results.
Ciao
Chaz
Hi Chaz,
Thank You.
You definately made a contribution to this blog.
Your words of wisdom are right on.
You made a difference.
I appreciate it.
Dale