Pornography: Am I a Sex Addict?

I did not think so; I did not consistently look at porn.

I went for a time without sliding. After four to eight weeks, I would sit in front of the computer viewing pornography. Having feelings of despair and self-loathing, I would stop looking at porn and masturbating, one more time.

However, masturbation worked its way back into my routine; weekly, daily, and then multiple times per day. I constantly thought about sex. In secret, viewing porn followed my compulsive behavior.

When I was with my family, I was irritable and critical. Just having a simple disagreement with her, I became harsh with my spouse. Whatever hit my brain, I immediately spoke my thoughts without regards to other people’s feelings.

My behavior was secretive and accompanied by lies and denial. I desired greater sexual thrills. I was ashamed of what I wanted to do to satisfy my cravings. I felt powerless. I could not manage my sexual desires.

Am I a sex addict?

I am.

I cannot stop on my own. I need help.

I found a 12 Step program.

Now, I am pursuing healthy sex.

Published by: curepornaddiction

In the year 1971 I became a store manager at age 19. I discovered I had a gift for mentoring. I gave one on one coaching, instruction and teaching with ease. And, I loved it. However, I had a problem that held me back from achieving my full potential. I was addicted to porn. When I was going through my puberty years in life, I found pornography (adult magazines) in my Dad's closet. I was hooked. I had my ups and downs throughout my life: Ups, when I was off of porn and using my gift: and, Downs, when I was using porn. Porn captured my attention, holding me back. I found the secrets to breaking free from porn. Like anyone else, I have to work at keeping my emotions positive, every day, to stay free. Limiting emotions--fear, doubt, hate, lust, sloth, pride, any emotion that kills joy. Joy is the ultimate weapon against porn. You have it; porn loses its hold on you. I dedicate this blog to those who are looking for ways to end pornography in their life. To Your Peace, Power and Plenty, Dale P.S. The picture above is not me. The photo represents all families free from pornography.

Categories 12 Step Recovery, Recovery, relapseTags, , Leave a comment

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