Probably not! From experience, I could not have balance and view pornography. Porn affected all areas of my life. Because I viewed porn, I continuously had to fight the dark side to keep my person in check.
More times than not, I failed those around me. I improperly interacted with my wife, my daughters, my grandchildren, and associates in business and social settings. I viewed them as sex objects.
Often, I would embarrass myself. When talking with a woman, my eyes automatically dropped to her bosom. When interacting with a man my eyes fell on his crotch. It seemed that I could not control my boundaries and respect other people’s privacy (space).
For me, masturbation and pornography go hand in hand. However, I eventually became aware that when I masturbated to a particular image (breast, legs, butts, crotches, gay and lesbian sex , eyes, or lingerie-clad women) my eyes automatically found those images in real-life settings. There were times that I felt that I am gay because I am attracted to men. I also connected with women of the lesbian orientation. When I masturbate to porn Web sites that feature other sexual orientations, I am drawn to the lifestyle.
Sharing all of this is rather difficult.
I am not sure of myself.
Can I be addicted to pornography and not have problems?
I doubt it!
Now, I go to SAA meetings to get group support for my addiction. I also see a therapist. I am in the process of finding a sponsor to call when I need help in the heat of the moment. Giving and receiving help is a spiritual act of kindness. Perhaps, if I help others at the meetings, I will receive the strength to overcome pornography.
Taking measures to change, I realize that I am not my problem. I just have to face the challenges of my addiction to overcome.
I am on the road to recovery.
I now have hope.
2 thoughts on “Can I Be Addicted to Pornography and Not Have Problems?”
You are not alone! Congratulations on writing so openly and honestly.
Considering that the very definition of an addiction is the continued pursuit of an activity in spite of negative consequences in your life in doing so, then no I don’t think you can be addicted to porn and not have problems. The problems may differ in their severity and obviousness from person to person, but they will be there for every addict.
Also, the problems aren’t just the ones that come as consequences after using porn – addicts will have problems and issues themselves that would have led them to porn and addiction in the first place, often as a means of escape or dealing with pain. Understanding these drivers is a key step in figuring out how to best beat your own addiction.
Good luck in your journey! Feel free to keep in touch on my blog/twitter/email if you want to continue to share your thoughts. I too am going through a similar thing – seeking professional help for my addiction, and I understand how tough it is and how it can make you doubt yourself as a person.
I’m confident we are taking the right steps and as long as we stick with it and face the issues, we’ll come out the other side truly better people.
Thank you for your comments on 2014/08/13. I am getting better and better everyday; however, because of a lifetime of conditioning myself to viewing pornography, I will always have it with me. I have no desire to look at it, but there are times that I am still weak. I know I am winning though.
Thanks again for your comments.