“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart” — Vincent Van Goth
The One Question: Am I into living life with all my heart, or do I strive to satisfy my sexual addiction?
After I read Van Goth’s quote, I had to answer the question. A hundred people could answer the question 100 different ways.
For me, here is my short answer, well, not entirely short.
Throughout the years, approximately 50, I tried to use my talent. Yes. I said, “Try.” Trying was all I could do because my sexual addiction robbed me of the positive energy that I needed to perform my talent with all my heart.
My addiction grew worse and worse.
I gave my heart to videos and pictures that offered me no love; young girls with young or older men, women and men, women with women, men with men, or humans with whatever.
Disgusting images that I once thought were impossible for me to view turned cravings into an obsession.
I became impoverish and empty.
I felt hopeless. The pain was intense.
I then prayed for help.
“O Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, for you, O Lord, I lift up my soul” (Recovery, 1993, Psalm86:6 & 7). I felt his compassion. I experience hope.
Now, I am in recovery with all my heart. Recovery is a daily habit of good choices
God, you enrich my life with peace. You, O God, are “an expansive spiritual experience” (Booth, 2009, p. 383).
Booth, L. (2009). Say yes to your sexual healing; daily meditations for sex addiction. p. 383. Deerfield Beach; FL: Health Communications.
I am in it with all my heart Van Gogh Quote 8×10 by MomentsOfArt. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.etsy.com/listing/178891961/i-am-in-it-with-all-my-heart-van-gogh.
Recovery Devotional Bible, (1993). Psalm 86:6 & 7. New International Version (NIV), 1984. Grand Rapids; MI: Zondervan.