Masturbation: How to Come out of Isolation & Rebuild Your Relationships

As you think about recovery from sexual addiction,

Featured image
(Albers, 2014)

You become really interested in life.

This month, January, 2015, I will celebrate one year attending meetings with Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA).

During the recovery process, I have empowered my thoughts with strength and hope.

My wife also sees a change in my behavior; all because I am learning how to rebuild trust.

During the Meetings I Discovered One Core Behavior That Destroyed Relationships

First, I had to stop masturbating.  When I masturbated to fantasies, I would gain an awareness of every attractive woman within eyesight. Being embarrassed with my behavior, I would go out in public alone so family and friends would not see my roaming eyes.

Second, masturbation opened the craving-floodgate for pornography, and it would get worse at a compounding rate.  Because my behavior became inappropriate around family and friends, I would isolate myself.  At family gatherings or social events, I would hide off in a corner or a separate room reading a book or listening to the crowd through the walls.

Third, because I compulsively masturbated, I did not have control over my sexual cravings, I lost self-control in nearly all areas of life. Moreover, I was hypersensitive about my wife’s concerns or other people’s ideas.

How I Uncovered the Problem

Attending the SAA meetings, I discovered that masturbation was a trigger for all other sexual cravings.

When I stopped masturbation, I stopped objectifying women. I stopped viewing porn; however, I continued going to meetings.  Without the support of the group, I gradually slipped back into old habits.

A Personal Question…?

Very important, let me ask you, how would it feel to have hope in overcoming pornography?

With the help of others, you can say yes to recovery.

The “Say Yes to Life” principle:

“If we choose, we may overcome most

of the challenges that face us” (Booth, 2009, p. 3).

Five Benefits of SAA meetings (or any Recovery Meeting)

  1. Many people recover from sex addiction one day at a time
  2. Families of sex addicts are coming together
  3. Relationships heal with understanding
  4. People are picking up broken pieces
  5. Healing happens for the helper and the helped.

This Year, I Will Continue to Say Yes to My SAA Meetings.

Will you?

Thanks,

Dale

P.S.

Stopping Masturbation

I have even stopped objectifying my wife.

I do not look at how she can physically gratify me.  I draw from her spiritual strength.

Now, I feel gratitude for her.

Today, January 6, 2015, we have been married 41 years.

I can thank God for guiding us to this point in our lives.  And because of my wife, our marriage grows stronger, every day.

Reference

Albers, M. (2014). Uitnodiging algemene ledenvergadering. VVOJ Vereniging van Onderzoeksjournalisten. Retrieved from http://www.vvoj.nl/2014/10/25/uitnodiging-algemene-ledenvergadering-2014/.

Booth, L. (2009). Say yes to your sexual healing; daily meditations for sex addiction. Deerfield Beach; FL: Health Communications.

Published by: curepornaddiction

In the year 1971 I became a store manager at age 19. I discovered I had a gift for mentoring. I gave one on one coaching, instruction and teaching with ease. And, I loved it. However, I had a problem that held me back from achieving my full potential. I was addicted to porn. When I was going through my puberty years in life, I found pornography (adult magazines) in my Dad's closet. I was hooked. I had my ups and downs throughout my life: Ups, when I was off of porn and using my gift: and, Downs, when I was using porn. Porn captured my attention, holding me back. I found the secrets to breaking free from porn. Like anyone else, I have to work at keeping my emotions positive, every day, to stay free. Limiting emotions--fear, doubt, hate, lust, sloth, pride, any emotion that kills joy. Joy is the ultimate weapon against porn. You have it; porn loses its hold on you. I dedicate this blog to those who are looking for ways to end pornography in their life. To Your Peace, Power and Plenty, Dale P.S. The picture above is not me. The photo represents all families free from pornography.

Categories Overcoming Pornography AddictionTags, , , , , , , , 3 Comments

3 thoughts on “Masturbation: How to Come out of Isolation & Rebuild Your Relationships”

  1. You should be very proud of how far you have come. I wish more men who suffer would stop and look at things from a different perspective -like yours .looking forward to reading your book. Thanks for sharing your story with us all!

    1. Thank you, Chely. I can do nothing without guidance. I am grateful to you for your comments. They make what I do so worthwhile! I finished book and some editing need done. Won’t be long.
      Thanks,
      Dale

      1. I know exactly what you mean about readers and comments. It is nice to have readers comment on posts-you know they are there (see them in stats) but some are a little intimidated to actually comment. Generally i’m (hardly ever) at a loss for words so if ima reading a blog ill share a comment. Especially when such important info is being shared-like your blog. I do hope more read yours -cause education is one of the keys to healing. Thank – you for sharing your journey.

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