Masturbation: How to Come out of Isolation & Rebuild Your Relationships

As you think about recovery from sexual addiction,

You become really interested in life.

This month, January, 2015, I will celebrate one year attending meetings with Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA).

During the recovery process, I have empowered my thoughts with strength and hope.

My wife also sees a change in my behavior; all because I am learning how to rebuild trust.

During the Meetings I Discovered One Core Behavior That Destroyed Relationships

First, I had to stop masturbating.  When I masturbated to fantasies, I would gain an awareness of every attractive woman within eyesight. Being embarrassed with my behavior, I would go out in public alone so family and friends would not see my roaming eyes.

Second, masturbation opened the craving-floodgate for pornography, and it would get worse at a compounding rate.  Because my behavior became inappropriate around family and friends, I would isolate myself.  At family gatherings or social events, I would hide off in a corner or a separate room reading a book or listening to the crowd through the walls.

Third, because I compulsively masturbated, I did not have control over my sexual cravings, I lost self-control in nearly all areas of life. Moreover, I was hypersensitive about my wife’s concerns or other people’s ideas.

How I Uncovered the Problem

Attending the SAA meetings, I discovered that masturbation was a trigger for all other sexual cravings.

When I stopped masturbation, I stopped objectifying women. I stopped viewing porn; however, I continued going to meetings.  Without the support of the group, I gradually slipped back into old habits.

A Personal Question…?

Very important, let me ask you, how would it feel to have hope in overcoming pornography?

With the help of others, you can say yes to recovery.

The “Say Yes to Life” principle:

“If we choose, we may overcome most

of the challenges that face us” (Booth, 2009, p. 3).

Five Benefits of SAA meetings (or any Recovery Meeting)

1. Many people recover from sex addiction one day at a time
2. Families of sex addicts are coming together
3. Relationships heal with understanding
4. People are picking up broken pieces
5. Healing happens for the helper and the helped.

This Year, I Will Continue to Say Yes to My SAA Meetings.

Will you?

Thanks,

Dale

P.S.

Stopping Masturbation

I have even stopped objectifying my wife.

I do not look at how she can physically gratify me.  I draw from her spiritual strength.

Now, I feel gratitude for her.

Today, January 6, 2015, we have been married 41 years.

I can thank God for guiding us to this point in our lives.  And because of my wife, our marriage grows stronger, every day.

Reference

Albers, M. (2014). Uitnodiging algemene ledenvergadering. VVOJ Vereniging van Onderzoeksjournalisten. Retrieved from http://www.vvoj.nl/2014/10/25/uitnodiging-algemene-ledenvergadering-2014/.

Booth, L. (2009). Say yes to your sexual healing; daily meditations for sex addiction. Deerfield Beach; FL: Health Communications.