The Agonizing Truth about Pornography Addiction

The cup holds grief and balm in equal measures.

Light, darkness. Who drinks from it must change.

–May Sarton

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I’m Suffering. (

“My addiction hurts a lot!”

As a recovering sex addict, I understand how it feels to try and try again.

The grief!

I remember all the times I relapsed; how I felt about myself.

Feelings, I am a pervert; yet, one more time, I’d click onto another pornography site.

I’d then find the balm; I wept before God. I challenged myself to change.

The turnaround did not come over night.

I had more relapses to suffer; however, I did not lose hope.

Eventually, I found a therapist who could guide me.

I found a SAA meeting with other sex addicts–nearly everyone in the group was addicted to porn.

Now, I realize that, for me, being in recovery means to go to all lengths to heal.

I know I can do it.

Though I have been sober for nearly a year, I still consider myself a sex addict.

For 50 years, I conditioned my brain and body to respond to abusive sexual stimuli.

Now, I can say no and go on with life, using balm every day to heal my emotional life.




Psalm 16

O God: for in thee do I put my trust.

O my soul, thou hast said unto the Lord, Thou art my Lord: my goodness extendeth not to thee;

But to the saints that are in the earth, and to the excellent, in whom is all my delight.

Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after another god: their drink offerings of blood will I not offer, nor take up their names into my lips.

The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot.

The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage.

I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.

I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.

10 For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.

11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.


Williamson, P. & Kiser, S. (1989, October). May Sarton Quote; January 15. Answers in the Heart. Hazelden Meditations

Published by: curepornaddiction

In the year 1971 I became a store manager at age 19. I discovered I had a gift for mentoring. I gave one on one coaching, instruction and teaching with ease. And, I loved it. However, I had a problem that held me back from achieving my full potential. I was addicted to porn. When I was going through my puberty years in life, I found pornography (adult magazines) in my Dad's closet. I was hooked. I had my ups and downs throughout my life: Ups, when I was off of porn and using my gift: and, Downs, when I was using porn. Porn captured my attention, holding me back. I found the secrets to breaking free from porn. Like anyone else, I have to work at keeping my emotions positive, every day, to stay free. Limiting emotions--fear, doubt, hate, lust, sloth, pride, any emotion that kills joy. Joy is the ultimate weapon against porn. You have it; porn loses its hold on you. I dedicate this blog to those who are looking for ways to end pornography in their life. To Your Peace, Power and Plenty, Dale P.S. The picture above is not me. The photo represents all families free from pornography.

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