Pornography: Not an Intimate Friend but a Devastating Enemy

The Flip Flop Stages of Pornography

I was going through a stage when I intimately depended on pornography.

Looking back on the this particular time, I realize that I was in  emotional states of depression, anxiety, stress, need, and confusion.

It is not important that you know what types of porn sites that I visited.

It is not important what sites gave me reprieve from the pain that I felt.

It is not important that you know what caused my pain.

All that is important is that pornography gave me an escape.  I hungered for the comfort that it gave me.  However, porn was a false security.

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Thoughts So Vivid; Couldn’t See Myself

After feelings of comfort wore off, I became horribly upset with my indecent behavior.  I objectified women and men until it became rather obvious what I was doing.  I thought: I can’t hide my secret. I am undressing people in real life.  I continued in hiding.

Arrogantly viewing and masturbating to pornography blurred my decision making in the workplace, family, and social settings.  I was narcissistic.  I cognitively worked out problems with my lopsided point of view.  I lost business and friends and hurt family members’ trust.

My emotional states of depression, anxiety, stress, need, and confusion came back with a severity of intense emotional pain.  I needed more porn to comfort myself so I went online.

However, I no longer felt comfort but hopelessness. Pornography had become my enemy.  I knew that I had to change.

I found a therapist.  He recommended checking out SAA meetings and continue therapy.  I went to a group meeting.

I have been in therapy for three years.  I need someone to talk to so I am willing to pay for it!

Now, I have had 16 months of sobriety.  I enjoy caring relationships from associates, friends, therapist, group members, family, and God.  I have lasting comfort.

Meditation

Plea for Relief from Bitter Foes 

Psalm 120

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THANKS

With gratitude,

Dale Criswell

Published by: curepornaddiction

In the year 1971 I became a store manager at age 19. I discovered I had a gift for mentoring. I gave one on one coaching, instruction and teaching with ease. And, I loved it. However, I had a problem that held me back from achieving my full potential. I was addicted to porn. When I was going through my puberty years in life, I found pornography (adult magazines) in my Dad's closet. I was hooked. I had my ups and downs throughout my life: Ups, when I was off of porn and using my gift: and, Downs, when I was using porn. Porn captured my attention, holding me back. I found the secrets to breaking free from porn. Like anyone else, I have to work at keeping my emotions positive, every day, to stay free. Limiting emotions--fear, doubt, hate, lust, sloth, pride, any emotion that kills joy. Joy is the ultimate weapon against porn. You have it; porn loses its hold on you. I dedicate this blog to those who are looking for ways to end pornography in their life. To Your Peace, Power and Plenty, Dale P.S. The picture above is not me. The photo represents all families free from pornography.

Categories MasturbationTags, , , , , , , , 2 Comments

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