Clinicians have developed a term called the three C’s of addiction.
- The sex addict’s behaviors react to emotions that range from cravings to compulsion.
- Wanting to stop, yet, a sex addict continues to sexually act out.
- The individual is addicted; Can’t stop.
Having this definition helps the addict and therapist to determine whether or not the person has an addiction.
The following 10 examples were inspired by Patrick Carnes’ book Don’t Call It Love; Recovery from Sexual Addiction on pages 40 and 41 (1991). Carnes’ lists 40 confessions (just a few) of individuals with sexual addictions. The research discovered rather interesting results.
Author’s Note: Having a pornography addiction more than likely will lead to the 40 confessions (sexually acting out) in Carnes’ book.
I Am Powerless Because…
- I sexually acted out with employees.
- I can’t say no to having sex with women and feeling that I don’t have the right to resist.
- I can’t stop going to massage parlors even when I promised that I wouldn’t.
- I am unable to stay committed to my marriage.
- I masturbate in the library never studying.
- Six nights a week, I cruise the bars to be picked up or pick up someone.
- I tried to seduce their wives, and then I lost my close friends.
- I sleep with successive partners in one night.
- I attempted to start an affair with my sister-in-law.
- I am sexual in public places similar to being in bars (1991).
Which of the three C’s do each of these confessions represent?
Do your emotions cause you to crave and compulsively act out?
Are you wanting to stop but keep continuing inappropriate sexual behaviors?
Are you losing control no matter how dangerous the consequences are becoming?
If you have a sex addiction, please get help; you are worth it!
Spend the money; Seek profession help.
If you do not have the money, you may find that group meetings (e. g. 12-step programs) are excellent in finding support while you are on the path of recovery.
Carnes, P. (1991, March). Don’t Call It Love; Recovery from Sexual Addiction. p.p. 40 & 41. New York; NY: Bantam Books. Retrieved from http://books.google.com/books/about/Don_t_call_it_love.html?id=xTMQAQAAMAAJ