“Can I ever find happiness, after I’ve relapsed for the umpteenth time?”
Yes, but I needed to use an anchor to remember my purpose.
The reason why I relapse is because I had physically anchored intense feelings to porn by masturbating.
Whenever we are having a bad day, we masturbate to feel better which in turn leads us back to porn.
However, we can turn the pleasure of masturbation and porn into extreme emotional pain.
- I choose my left wrist to anchor to
- I wear a rubber band on my wrist
- Intensify the pain. Remember how you felt the last time you.
- Pull the rubber ban back and let go!
- Now, Change the meaning of the relapse.
- Commit not to do porn again.
- But, right away, go do something, anything but sitting in front of a computer.
First: I choose an anchor to channel all the intense, negative feelings I experience after failing to keep sober.
Second: Change your focus. Stop thinking how awful you are for relapsing for the umpteenth time. Focus on how horrible you feel. That’s right. Experience the horrible feelings.
Third: Remember how your body reacted to viewing porn. I’m not talking about sensually but emotionally. What discomforts did you feel throughout your body while viewing porn?
Fourth: Throughout the week keep a journal of how you feel, react and behave. Take notice of the new you that you are becoming.
Pornography is a muddy, slippery slope, sliding you into an emotional hell.
Think about all the things you’ll end up doing, if you keep on viewing porn. Experiencing, committing adultery in reality, breaking up the family, viewing younger and younger subjects on the internet, being a…, the list goes on and on.
Now, think about all the things you’ll lose, if you keep doing porn. Ponder the things that cause the severest pain.
Then, intensify the feelings you feel, till you loathe porn so much you get sick even thinking about it.
You’re not doing yourself any favors, beating yourself up over relapsing. Calling yourself names, hating yourself for doing it, you’ll actually reinforce the pattern.
Change the meaning of the experience. Learn from your behavior.
Why You Did It!
Example: The past does not equal the future.
Example: I enjoy porn less; every time, I view it. I know I’m losing the desire for porn.
Example: Failures are guide posts to success. This experience is bringing me closer to the answer.
Then, Focus on the outcomes you want to have in your life: Joys you feel from living a wholesome life.
Answer these questions, “What’s most important to me? What is it that I want in this area of my life?”
Now, get a piece of paper and write your answers. Ponder the answers.
How will it make you feel to accomplish this?
Very important, now, do something immediately that’s important to you. Every week, do one thing for your purpose in life. This adds meaning to your existence.
Happiness comes to those who have meaning in their lives.
To Your Peace
One thought on “Pornography: I am in a state of depression. Can I Ever Feel Happy?”
Recovering from a porn addiction is tough. With the prevalence of the internet into our daily lives, the proximity to porn is a click away. Many times it is just an uncontrollable pop up away. Keep fighting.