My Story

Hello, my name is Dale.

Dear Friend,

    More than 45 years, on and off viewing porn, I discovered a Force per say that controls porn cravings.

    That force was the “pain and pleasure” principle. When the pain became an emotional hell, I screamed, “I’ve had it.”  I then quit. 

     Why did I stop? I wanted to rid myself of the emotional pain, anxiety, depression, guilt….

     When I stopped, it felt good. For awhile, I focused on those pleasurable feelings. I noticed I had no interest with inappropriate sexual stimulation.

    Then, I had an “Ah Ha” experience. I realized I could control what was going on in my body.

    God created two sovereign powers, pain and pleasurethese powers rule us in all we think, feel, and do: Ignoring their influence hurts us; harnessing their power controls our destiny–Anthony Robbins.

    Not until I realized the force—the pain and pleasure principle—did I find a way to use the sexual urges and cravings as Warning Signals to alert me to possible relapses.

    Sexual feelings in themselves are not wrong. They are meant to be enjoyed. Your significant other desires your love. When you give that love, your body sexually anchors those intimate feelings to your body.

    Now, when I have sexual feelings, I don’t resist. I allow those feeling to pass. I put my mind other things. However, when those feeling come, I simply say, “These feelings are reserved for my soul mate.” Also, any sexual thoughts I reserve for my soul mate, as well. I push out of my mind people, places and things that would pull me away from being true.

   This Blog tells of past and present challenges.   

   If you came here expecting to find someone who has all the answers, and you expect me not to have challenges with porn; then, you came to the wrong place.

   I have to work at it, every day, just like any person with an addiction.  I even have slipped after I started writing the blog.

   However, I learned from slips and choose fidelity. 

   Most importantly, I forgive myself. 

    So, if it bothers you that I have to work at it everyday to stay free from porn.  I understand.  You may not want to read this Blog. 

   However, I’m in this with you.  Together, we can beat this thing.  I will be open about my feelings and failures.  I also will be open about what works for me, as well.

   Now, there’s one thing I do know: “In the past, I was a mind numb robot.” 

   Today, I have an edge. 

   Porn is losing its control, more and more.

    To Your Freedom,

    Dale C

10 thoughts on “My Story”

    1. Thank you, Lyndille Mae. It pleases me and touches deeply to see the name of Jesus in your comment. Attaching his powerful name to my story gives it credibility. Thanks again. Lyndille Mae, you have a wonderful spirit.

  1. Your honesty is so refreshing. Thanks for having the courage to address this issue. So often we try to cover up our issues for fear of what others may think or say about us. When we focus more on the ultimate purose God has for us instead of the fear of criticism, we can truly walk in victory and overcome any obstacle set before us. Thank God who has already declared that we are more than conquerors!!
    May God continue to bless you to reach others with your powerful testimony.

    1. Thank you, Kim. The most difficult thing for me to do was admitting I was a sex addict.
      However, I realize how conditioned I had become and how vulnerable I am to relapses. Thanks again.

  2. I have thought about you and this site a lot this evening, and I want to tell you what a difference you have made in my life. I am not a sex addict – far from it. Because of my unhealthy repressions I found the idea of sex addiction distasteful. (Bear in mind that two of my children are heroin addicts, and that is far more distasteful and humiliating) thanks to you I am able to go out there and talk about sex addiction, and hopefully open people’s hearts and minds to this unhappy condition. You have shown me a better way to be, and that is one of the best gifts anyone can give.

    Thank you, Dale.

      1. Someone recently pointed out that it is impossible to know the positive results that can come from writing, because not everybody will get back to you and tell you what a difference your words have made. Some won’t even realise that a good seed has been planted. I am convinced that you have led many people back onto the path. You reach out with love with one hand, while you wrestle demons with the other.

  3. Dale, your story of vulnerability is one of tremendous courage. I praise you for telling your story with the Lord’s strength. Praying for you and your peace through your valleys my friend.

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