One of the greatest traps of a recovering sex addict is to make a “fetish of rare moments” (Chambers, 1935, p. 116).
Living in the extremes of pornography addiction eventually brought me to my knees. I realized that I was powerless over my addiction.
I reached out to God as I know Him. I felt a flood of inspiration. I experienced fantastic feelings of euphoria. I received insight that I could overcome with my Higher Power (divine strength). I had asked God for help.
For the next two weeks, euphoric emotions poured out of me in ways that I cannot really explain. I knew I could overcome pornography. I had surrendered my will. However, I had made joyful emotions into a fetish.
Because I lived for those rare moments, I set myself up for a relapse.
As the days went by, I experienced less and less of the euphoria and a pull back to pornography.
Did I have to experience euphoria to overcome?
Trust was the answer.
Wellness meant doing what was right for me. Being sober became my number one focus. All good things followed a life of wholeness.
Chambers, O. (1935). My utmost for his highest. (32nd printing). p. 116. Dodd, Mead, & Company, Inc.